Remember how we used to hold hands, before we both would fall asleep? And how I would wake up in the middle of the night and see you looking at me, with a gentle smile on your cheek. Well, I guess you just forgot quickly what it was that you saw. ‘Cause when I did something stupid you didn’t think there was nothing good to hold on to, nothing at all. You said you hadn’t decided, whether you wanted kids or not. Well I could’ve helped you make that choice, ‘cause even the thought of seeing you with our child brings tears in my eyes, and even coming from me that’s saying a lot. You said you thought I was the man of your dreams, well I still could’ve been. ‘Cause I don’t think anyone has ever been more sorry than me, and I swear I could’ve made things right, every single thing. But you’re not the kind of person to look back, or to have second thoughts about your life. But deep down I know you’re just as scared as me, you’re just not willing to ever admit that I’m right. Instead of going after love, you got something else you’ve had in your sights and in your dreams. And I can honestly say that I’m happy for you, and wish you all the best, by all means. I just wish we could see more often, and that our conversations wouldn’t be so cold. ‘Cause sometimes when I close my eyes, I can still see us holding hands on our bed, still together and growing old. And I know you don’t believe it but I love you, and at first prayed so hard to have you back. And all those messages I sent, all of them, I really meant them, but somehow my screen never lit up, it just stayed black.  It’s hard to try and accept that once again, trying my best and saying I’m sorry isn’t going to be enough. I was raised to believe that we all make mistakes, but I guess it’s just a pretty phrase, yeah, so long buddy, good luck. And they say that after a loss, you should preach to yourself that life goes on, this will make you stronger, it wasn’t meant to be. But my life only goes on in only one place where I’m strong. Inside my head, where there is only one reality, the one that still includes you. Together with me.